


You Could Stay With Me

by nerdyrose24



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame Fix-It, Awkwardness, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fix-It, Flashback, Fluff, Husbands, M/M, Married Couple, Plot Twist, Post-Avengers Infinity War, Relationship breakdown, Reunion, unexpected ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24147706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyrose24/pseuds/nerdyrose24
Summary: Bucky realises that Steve is not the same man he left behind on the Wakandan battlefield.In my AU, Steve and Bucky were married before Avengers: Infinity War.* Update 01/08/2020: This fic is now completed! *
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 13
Kudos: 100





	1. You Could Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea for this today. This is only the first part - I plan on writing more. I promise there will be a happy ending!

“I’m sorry about your friend – Iron Man.” Bucky chooses his words carefully. Not just because of the delicate subject matter, but because he himself had been away for a really long time, and he wasn’t sure how his husband would react to him. Sure, they’d hugged after that final battle; Bucky had opened his arms and Steve had dropped his head onto Bucky’s shoulders and clung to him. Since then, he could tell that there was something unmistakably different about Steve. He couldn’t see the sweet boy he fell in love with nearly a hundred years ago in this man; Steve’s features were stern, his expression harsh and his eyes cold. It was as if he had closed himself off and there was an insurmountable barrier between the two. There was so much he wanted to ask Steve: _How’ve you been, these past five years? Did Tony Stark ever forgive me? Are we still married? Do you still love me?_ “He was a good man.” 

  
“Yeah, he was,” Steve replied in a deep and blank voice. They were sitting side by side on somebody’s doorstep a couple of doors down from the hospital everyone had been taken to after the fight. The sun was disappearing behind the houses opposite, bathing the world in a soothing orange glow, and highlighting the already brilliant blonde of Steve’s slicked back hair, as he looked down at his feet. 

  
Bucky nudged Steve’s knee and smiled: “You know, I was real proud of you out there today, even if you were acting like a reckless punk.” A half-smile briefly lit up Steve’s face. “You saved the world – again. You saved me.”

  
Then The Captain was back, stony-faced and staring straight ahead. “Bruce brought everyone back.”

  
“No, the Avengers brought everyone back and got rid of Thanos’ army. You’re the Avengers,” Bucky countered.

  
“I was,” came the small reply. Bucky felt like he was getting further and further away from Steve as the conversation went on. What the hell did that mean? But then, a head was leaning against Bucky’s shoulder. He fought back the urge to wrap an arm around him. 

  
“So, five years, huh. It’s weird. For me, I saw you yesterday.” Bucky’s head kinda hurt with the thought of missing another five years, but what hurt more was the fresh memory of seeing the lost look on Steve’s face as he watched him disappear, although he longed to see that level of emotion on his face again. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you.” He felt him nod slowly against him. 

  
There was nothing else to say. Bucky felt like screaming, or crying, or shouting at Steve, but he held it all in, afraid he might ruin what they had already established. 

  
Finally, it was time to move. A load of people were heading head towards a big truck down the street that’s waiting to take the displaced people to a refuge. Bucky wasn’t really planning on going there, even if he didn’t have a home with Steve anymore, he’d much rather fend for himself somehow. Maybe … 

  
He stood up and stretched. Man was he worn out – physically and emotionally. To his surprise, Steve stood up too. When he saw Bucky make for the truck he said: “You can stay with me.” 

  
“Oh.” Bucky’s heart sank further. Stay with me. Not live with me. This was going to be hard. 

***

The ride home was silent, sitting close together on the subway but staring ahead at nothing. As Bucky realised where they were going, however, his heart burst back into life. When they were walking up those stairs, his heart was racing. It was their old apartment. The one that Steve had taken him home to after his recovery in Wakanda. There they had relearned each other and fallen in love again. Bucky’s palms were sweating. After Steve opened the door and they were inside and Bucky could see the same sofa he was sitting on when Steve proposed, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Was there anyone else?” Steve froze as he put the keys on the table, his face turned away. “Or is there? I don’t mind, it’s just - “ 

“Bucky, can you give me some space? I don’t mind you staying here but just leave off the horrible questions.” He wasn’t shouting – not outwardly – and it was a definite non-answer. Sighing with exasperation, Steve stalked over to the kitchen. He grabbed an onion out of the cupboard and a large knife out of the drawer and proceeded to chop fiercely. “I’m making pasta. You want some?” 

“Sure, pal,” Bucky answered, although it wasn’t really a question, and he doubted Steve would hear anyway over his intense food preparation. 

He noticed the apartment then. Grey. Grey everywhere. No art, no photos, no ornaments. A blank space. This was not a home. They were the same four walls he used to know, but with all the life sucked out of them. It sucked the life out of Bucky as well, as he saw it. He went to have a shower, hoping he might drown in the hot water, and put them both out of their misery.


	2. Some Hope

“What do you mean I can’t do it? You’re certainly in no fit state!” 

Bucky woke up slowly to the sound of Steve’s voice – his favourite sound – but not when he’s practically spitting venom down the phone, and certainly not when he had to sleep on the couch. It’s hard – when reality hits. Bucky had dreamt of before; of the life they had built in this very apartment. It was long gone now. 

Steve was standing by the window, hand on hip, facing away from the window so that half his face was in shadow. There were muffled objections. “You’re right, I’m sorry, Bruce. It’s just – I need to do this. I can’t move on until I have.” Bucky’s heart sank involuntarily; he had no idea what Steve was talking about, but that fact alone proved how far apart they had grown. He also felt the need to pretend to be asleep so as not to eavesdrop on Steve’s conversation. They never had secrets before. For Bucky it was only yesterday when – 

“Thanks. Yeah, I’ll tell him.” Placing the phone back on the counter and staring straight ahead, Steve said: “I’m taking the stones back – tomorrow.” 

Feeling caught, Bucky lifted himself slightly. “O – kay. Where – where did you get them?” he asked in a sleep-confused voice. 

“At different points in time. Bruce and – Tony - invented a machine that makes time travel possible, by going through the quantum realm.” Steve had moved round the room to sit on the opposite end of the couch. Leaning casually Bucky’s way, he added: “I don’t understand it either. It’s perfectly safe. We all came back. Apart from Nat, of course.” There was something wrong about the way he said that, although the only perceptible change was a slight glance at the floor. Bucky wanted to comfort him, to pull him into his arms as he poured his heart out to him, whispering reassurances in his ear all the time. But there was a wall between them, maybe even a damn concrete mountain, and he couldn’t get to Steve. Then he remembered something. 

“But isn’t it the funeral tomorrow?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I’m going straight after. Bruce’ll have the machine all rigged up at the Stark Eco-Compound.” 

Bucky was suddenly captivated by Steve's profile, as if he could ever forget that face. “I guess I’ll have to say goodbye to you in the morning before you leave for there then.” 

Finally, Steve looked at him, with stern, but understanding eyes. “You’re coming to the funeral.” Bucky was about to object. “He would have wanted you there. Trust me.” Bucky couldn’t help but feel a little bashful as he suppressed a sigh of relief. As Steve got up, he gently squeezed Bucky’s shoulder. “Oh, and, I won’t be gone long. What’ll be hours for me in the past will only be second for you on the outside.” 

Bucky snorted amused. “The future,” he said, standing too and pretending to look out of the window. “And still I don’t see any flying cars.”

Steve laughed, small but genuine and continued to smile as he brushed past him. “Stark,” he joked under his breath.

There was hope.


	3. Momentary Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long. I knew what I wanted to say but not how I wanted to say it. 
> 
> This chapter is a flashback. It's a different take on that scene in Infinity War. You know which one. Tissues at the ready! That's a warning, okay, this is going to get really sad.

They both knew it wouldn’t last, their momentary bliss. That final day, after getting the missed call from Tony, they knew it was ending. 

That’s not to say they didn’t fight it. 

“You should go,” Bucky had said quietly, arms wrapped around his knees sitting on the sofa in their apartment. 

For hours, Steve had been pacing. Incessantly, back, and forth. Even biting his nails. Worry emanating from him and from his faltering stern expression. He stopped and leaned a hand against the window, staring out at the streets of Brooklyn. “It’s not my job anymore, Buck. Why should I?” he asked. 

“It may not be your job but if something goes wrong, you’ll feel damn sure like it was your responsibility,” Bucky countered, not unkindly. 

At that, Steve flicked his gaze back to where Bucky was sitting, before leaning over more and closing his eyes. The wordless gesture spoke to Bucky; they knew each other so well.  


“Nothing’s going to happen to me here in our apartment, Steve,” Bucky assured, sitting up a little. 

“I got a bad feeling about this one,” Steve murmured. “Why hasn’t Tony called back? That was hours ago. He must already be involved in something.” 

Bucky stood up and moved over to his husband. Placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder, to guide his attention away from the window, Bucky whispered: “You have to go.”

In response, Steve turned so he could stand in Bucky’s arms, which snaked around his waist. “It’s okay,” Bucky breathed, face centimetres from Steve’s, whose eyes were closed. 

Arms unfolding, Steve’s hands came to rest on Bucky’s chest. Their foreheads bumped together. Steve’s eyes finally opened and they both shared a smile. 

“Stop thinking so much. It’ll be no use to you out in the field,” Bucky sassed. 

That made Steve chuckle and shake his head. “Shut up,” he said weakly, lacing the fingers of his left hand with Bucky’s metal ones. At the feel of their wedding bands touching, Steve closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Bucky’s. 

After breaking the kiss, Bucky leaned in momentarily so he could speak directly into Steve’s ear. “Go get ‘em, tiger,” he hissed. 

*

Wearing the uniform again was strange to say the least. When Steve had thrown the shield down two years ago in Siberia, he genuinely thought it would be for the last time. He didn’t want to be Captain America anymore; he just wanted to be with Bucky. 

These past months with him had been amazing. Bucky was so much more himself since coming out of Wakanda and Steve would do anything to protect his life with him now. 

Unused to the many fastenings, it had taken Steve a little longer than usual to suit up. As he looked briefly into the full-length mirror, his heart filled with trepidation. Both he and Bucky had deliberately stayed away from all forms of media today. Steve had no idea what he was walking into. Although he had messaged T’challa and one of the assistants had replied stating Wakanda had declared a major incident. It seemed he was headed back to Wakanda.

“Steve?” he heard Bucky call from the living room. Later he would dwell on the confused tone in which he had spoken. But at the time…

“I’m all ready, Buck,” Steve answered, checking the cuffs as he exited the bathroom. Halfway through the door, he froze. 

“Steve?” came that scared, trembling voice once again. Bucky’s body, from across the room, was disappearing. Brown dust hung suspended in the air where his right arm had been.

Not wasting a second, Steve stormed towards him, arms outstretched, chest heaving in horror as more of Bucky disintegrated before him, like a wave sweeping right to left. 

“Buck,” Steve murmured. 

Steve endeavoured to catch Bucky’s left hand. For brief seconds he held it and gazed on Bucky’s face, before his own hand was holding dust and the face Bucky was gone. 

Like some cruel joke, at that moment, the wedding band fell to the floor, bouncing off of Steve’s boot and into the pile of dust. 

***

The memory of that day began to chip away at the ice in Steve’s heart as he thought back on it now, standing in the time travel equipment, ready to go. Without betraying a single emotion, he bent down to pick up the case of stones and steadied himself. He hoped he was doing the right thing. 

3, 2 – 

And he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! I think I made it worse. 
> 
> Anyway, there will be another chapter. I promise it won't take as long this time. Rest assured, all will be well. 
> 
> Also, before you ask "why didn't Steve and Bucky see the children of Thanos' ship if they were in New York at the same time", I imagine they live in a very different part of the city. New York is, after all, a very big place.


	4. Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;)

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.” 

It’s gonna be okay.

It’s gonna be okay. 

It’s gonna be – 

The dust settled. The countdown finished. The people around Bucky panicked, but he just stood there. He knew what had happened. It was inevitable. In all honesty, he was half-expecting it with the way Steve had been, out of reach in almost every way. Now he was out of reach physically too. 

Steve didn’t love Bucky anymore. And it hurt. Bucky felt he was better off dusted, or in “the quantum realm”, whatever the hell that is. 

Leaving Sam and Bruce to kill themselves trying to figure out where Steve was, Bucky stalked over to a bench at some distance by the water. 

He sat there for a little while. Not sure how long. The sun went down. The background chatter diminished as people headed home. Bucky was cold, the borrowed black bomber jacket offering little warmth, besides being totally inappropriate for a funeral, one he shouldn’t even have been at in the first place. 

At some point he decided to lay down. He watched the glimpses of reflected light dance on the surface of the water, feeling the night get colder and colder, until, eventually, he fell asleep. 

***

Steve lurched into the present, hurling over, hands on his knees, steadying. Breathing deeply, he cast the battle-damaged shield aside while pressing the button to dissolve the quantum suit, revealing the well-worn blue beneath. Startled but not surprised, he took in his night-time surroundings. The silver of the time travel podium glinted in the dark.

He straightened up and tried to see if anyone was still around. No-one. Of course, the funeral must have finished hours ago. He hoped Bucky wasn’t too worried. Steve honestly hadn’t meant to take so long, but in a way it was good. Bucky would see that. 

Stepping down from the podium, Steve made his way over to the lake, for no real reason, although the way that the bright moonlight danced across the water was pretty beautiful. There was an inviting-looking bench too. Man, he needed a rest. 

He walked to the edge of the water and looked out. Once he lowered his gaze, Steve realised he had missed the sleeping form on the bench, darker even than the night around him. Bucky, he thought. 

Steve crouched down in front of him and placed his hand on Bucky’s upper back. Gently, he shook him. “Bucky,” he whispered, smiling.

When Bucky’s eyes opened, they were sad and distant, but when he looked at Steve’s earnest face, he was downright confused. He shifted slightly, as if to sit up, but Steve’s hand had already moved to his hair as he leaned over and kissed his forehead softly. 

“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” Steve said, as he watched him sit up. At first, Steve had though Bucky was confused because he was sleepy, but he grew uncertain as his counterpart sat, fully alert and glaring at him. “You must have known I was coming back,” Steve added, putting a comforting hand on Bucky’s knee. 

“You – you’re here,” Bucky stated. 

“Yeah.” Steve rubbed Bucky’s leg, never taking his eyes away from him. 

What was more worrying was the barely contained, shuddering breath Bucky now let out. It was an anxiety breath. 

“Thought you – thought you left,” Bucky admitted with a nervous chuckle.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, trying to keep his voice and face as open as possible so there could be no doubt. 

“Thought you didn’t, um.” He couldn’t finish. Finally, his gaze crept upwards and his hand stretched out and cupped the side of Steve’s face. The ghost of a smile lit up Bucky’s. 

“Never,” Steve admonished with a shake of his head to prove his point. 

Both of Bucky’ hands now reached for Steve’s face and pulled him upwards. He went gladly, holding Bucky’s face as their lips met in a powerful kiss, which didn’t break even as they shifted so he could sit beside Bucky on the bench. 

Steve realised as they broke apart that Bucky’s eyes were wet. Almost drowning with a feeling of shame, Steve rubbed his forehead against Bucky’s in apology. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he murmured. “I was all messed up before. I was all wrong. Didn’t mean to push you away.” 

“Yeah?” Bucky asked, metal hand gripping one of the straps of the Captain America suit. 

“Yeah,” Steve said. He moved his head to Bucky’s neck, which presented itself as he began to kiss all down it. “Love you,” he mumbled between kisses. 

After a few intimate moments, Bucky’s eyes opened again. Steve stopped, sensing the change. They came to look each other in the eye. “What took you so long?” Bucky asked, still sounding incredulous. 

Steve felt caught and was suddenly nervous. “Had to get my head straight. Something happened to me, during those years you were gone. Seeing you only made me realise it. I couldn’t fit into our old life. So, I thought, going on a trip would give me the chance to figure out what was next. That’s why I was so eager to offer to take the stones back.”

Bucky gulped. Another question rose in his throat - Peggy - but Steve wasn’t finished. 

“But I got stuck. Equipment failed or something in the last location. Time travel was only actually invented a couple of months ago.” Steve smiled a half-smile to himself then his expression got serious. “I was so scared. Thought I’d never see you again, for real this time. Then I realised, what a perfect opportunity.” He reached into his utility belt and clamped his fist around whatever it was he brought out. Bucky cocked his head. 

“I was in New York. 2012 New York but still New York. So, I went to our apartment and stood out of sight from the previous owners. I started to fiddle with the equipment, trying to get it to take me forward a few years, which it did, to five years ago, right before I threw these out.” That was when he opened his hand out to Bucky, revealing the two rings. Their rings. Bucky gasped. 

“Of course, I love you, Buck. I’m sorry I ever forgot,” Steve finished, voice breaking at the final word. Bucky was motionless, almost petrified. Moving his hand again, Steve prompted: “Will you?” 

Chest heaving, Bucky shifted, expression serious. “Again?” he asked. Steve nodded, biting his lip.

“Yes,” Bucky said. A smile grew on Bucky’s face, crinkling his warmed eyes. Steve smiled too and leaned over to kiss him again, longer, and deeper this time. His free hand bunched Bucky’s long dark hair, the other still holding the rings. When they parted, they were both giggling, stopping only after the rings had once more been exchanged. 

In the moonlight, on the bench, by the lake, they held each other’s hands, foreheads pressed together. 

“’Til the end of the line?” Bucky asked after a few minutes. 

“’Til the end of the line,” Steve agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I enjoyed that. I might repost this last chapter as a one-shot because I think it's better than the rest of the fic. Once again, thank you for reading! Especially if you read until the end. I really must learn to edit and to only post something when it's ready.


End file.
